OK, I don't know if it was fatigue, hormones, or just raw emotion...but I broke down and cried in front of the Inter-coutry adoption matching committee! This board of professionals: a psychologist, doctor, lawyer and ICAB director were all obviously a little disturbed at my outburst. MJ's case had been presented and discussed at length and I was ok. Once Nori's picture was put up on the presentation board, I just lost it. I think they thought I was upset because they had a split vote on MJ's prospective family...they have no clue how this one little girl has affected my life! I'm thankful for a sovereign God whom I can trust these babies' lives to. He is all-knowing and all-powerful...HE knows what the future holds for each of these children. HE knows what's best, and has a plan for their lives. I can trust that the families who take these babies away from us will love them even more than I ever could, and that God's will has been done!

Puke on a Page

Oh, how I wish I could make myself sit down for a few minutes and journal all the important things when they happen. Then, I could have these neat little themed entries, instead of "puke on a page"! But...then I wouldn't be me, would I?

So, let's do it paragraph by paragraph...God is good, as always. He's been using things all around me lately to draw me closer to Him...both good and bad! He uses His Word, relationships, and just the wooing of His Holy Spirit to speak to my heart, and I'm SO thankful...even when it's painful, I know it's for my good!

Being Father's Day...I'm reminded of the godly father that I am so blessed to have. Since my father's salvation in 1974, God has used him in many lives (not just his own children's) to model Jesus Christ. My dad is a true servant of God. He is humble, loving, forgiving, kind, faithful, generous, selfless, strong. Through all the drama that his children have put him through, he showed unconditional love and the forgiveness of a godly father. Though ridiculed and abandoned...he has been unfaltering in his faith and held steadfast to the Word of God (not man!). I'm also thankful to see those same seeds growing in my husband. John's not the same man I married 21 years ago...PRAISE THE LORD!!! He's become a man after God's own heart, and I'm so thankful that God gave him to me to be my rock!

Friday marked the 6th month anniversary of the loss of my sister, Amy. I miss her. We weren't always close...but it's the good times I remember. It's her laugh, her musical talent and her beauty that are stuck in my mind. Maybe God was merciful to spare her another day on this earth in her weary mind and troubled soul. Regardless, I know God can use this tragedy for His good. My prayers are that Olivia, Samuel and Emma will grow up to know a God who loves them unconditionally, and who can be trusted with their lives. May God continue to comfort my parents, who will never stop mourning the loss of their child. May He continue to strengthen my brother and teach him so that he can continue to teach and guide others, and may He call to my baby sister as a sweet, gentle Shepherd calls to his lost sheep.

Our family (the dwindled party of 4) was able to take a little summer vacation last week. We had saved some of our tax return money to go to the island of Bohol. It was SO relaxing and wonderful!!! We took a bus to Manila last Sunday, spent the night at a budget hotel, then flew to Bohol on Monday. Through online research (it's what I do!) we chose to stay at the Linaw Beach Resort, and I'm SO thankful that we did! It was very secluded...almost as if we were the only people there! God gave us beautiful weather, and a great time of rest. Brock was sick all day Monday (the consequences of EATING at a budget hotel!), so we just lounged around the resort. Thankfully, he was better by Tuesday morning. Through a little persuasion, I was able to convince the whole family to go snorkeling with me on Tuesday, and they all loved it!!! It was like "Finding Nemo" live! The little boat took us out to a secluded reef, about 30 minutes from the resort, and gave us all the time we wanted to swim around and view God's awesome underwater creations! We saw neon blue fish, HUGE starfish, blue starfish, eels, silver fish, flying fish, clown fish, fish I can't name...but I know I saw them all on "Finding Nemo"! It was SO COOL!!! That afternoon, we visited the Bohol Bee Farm for lunch and walked along the beach that evening, enjoying the beautiful sunset. Wednesday, we took a day-tour of all the "must see" places in Bohol. We saw the tarsiers (the world's smallest primate), the Chocolate Hills, the world's largest python in captivity, the Hinadagan cave, the butterfly sanctuary...honestly, it was all a little boring! On Thursday, we opted to go to the Island Mall and watch "The Karate Kid" and "Toy Story 3" while eating at one of the famous seafood places on the island. Both movies were well worth the time and money (movies here are only about $2 a pop)! We had a lot of time to swim, relax and just have uninterrupted family time all week. On Friday, we flew back to Manila, visited the enormous Mall of Asia, spent the night at the same budget hotel (hold the food-poisoning, please), then brought a bus home on Saturday. It was a much-needed break that I thank God for...now to hit the ground running!

S.H.I.P. admitted 2 new little girls on Saturday before I left for the week! The father had abandoned the family, the mom had been admitted to the psych ward at the local government hospital, and the 2 sisters (roughly 1 year and 2 1/2 years old) needed immediate temporary shelter. It's been a rough week for them. Charlene (the 2 year old) is having trouble adjusting to her new surroundings, and Chara (the baby) is very clingy, and possibly a bit under-developed. Hopefully, we can reach out to this mom and help her to be reunited with her babies soon! S.H.I.P. is continuing to become something much bigger than us...it always has been, but as we grow accustomed to the stage we're in, it seems the Lord gives us a little nudge into expansion. This week, Jovi (the social worker) and I will take a bus to Manila in order to choose families for 3 of our babies...M.J., Kimmie, and Nori. My heart breaks already at the thought of letting these 3 precious babies go! I jokingly call M.J. our "mascot". We've had him since he was 2 weeks old...he's so much fun, and happy...but takes the most "pathetic" pictures! Kimmie was named after me, we got her at birth in July of 2008...and Nori has been John's sweetheart since we got her a year ago. We had been praying about adopting Nori, but hadn't received complete peace about it yet...it will be excruciating to let her go! We currently have 15 children and 3 staff living at the facility and depending on God to use us to supply their needs! God has given us a new shuttle vehicle, has provided for us to send 8 kids to a Christian A.C.E. school, and has met every need and most of the "wants" that we've had for S.H.I.P. Blessed be the name of the Lord!

Integrity Bible Fellowship is another thriving ministry that God has graciously allowed us to be a part of. Just when we think we're not accomplishing anything, and wonder if we should just quit and go "home"...God opens our eyes to the work He has chosen for us to do here. A few weeks ago, one of the young ladies gave her life to the Lord, and we were able to baptize 2 people at a church nearby. There's a little "karaoke bar" across the street from our house...been there ever since we moved here 5 years ago. Almost every night, we lay in bed and wait for the excruciating crooning to stop so we can sleep. Many nights, we're awakened by drunks in the street outside...sometimes fighting, or even hitting our gate. One day, as John was driving past for probably the thousandth time...God's still, small voice said..."wouldn't that be a nice place for a church". WHAT?!? Since the notion wouldn't go away, John approached the owner a few days later about renting the building. He told him that the current tenants had just signed another years lease. No problem, must not have been God after all! A few days later, the owner approached John and told him that the tenants were willing to leave as long as he returned their security deposit, and that the community would welcome a church in it's place! He wanted 15,000 pesos a month for rent (roughly $325). Since we're currently only paying 2,000/month (about $43), we knew that was too high. God had given us both peace about 10,000/month ($215/month). We offered him 10,000/month, paying a year in advance, taking on the necessary work at our own expense (and it needs LOTS of work!!!) and asked for a 3 year contract. He said "No", we said, "ok, thanks for your time!" Within 2 days, he texted John and said he was willing to accept our offer! WOW...so now, instead of driving 20 minutes across town to meet in a member's basement, we will soon be working hard to make the little karaoke bar on the corner across the street into a beacon of God's light in our community. We're SO excited...20 0f our church members already come from this area, and we have to transport them every week. This will make the church more convenient for them and allow us to hold more worship services, prayer meetings and Bible studies. God is good!!!

Oh, and my best friend here (who is also the center head at SHIP) had her baby a surprising 3 weeks early!!! Wasn't ready for that one!!! Thankfully she's healthy...mommy and baby are doing great, and she's beautiful!

Well, for any of you who are still with me...thanks for caring enough to drudge on to the end! I tend to bottle things up for a while before I spill them out, which makes it more like "puke on a page" than an intelligible blog! Maybe when I grow up, I'll be better organized! ; )

What's Important in Life?

As the days pass quickly by, I watch my children grow, my body age, and the people that I love pass away. The brevity of life and the things that matter most are becoming more evident to me daily. The Holy Spirit has convicted me that the time is short, and that I need to concern myself with the "needful" things. For that reason, and for the reason that I've seen more harm done in the last month than good done in the last 3 years...I've decided to take a little break from facebook. Honestly, no one cares what I ate for dinner, how much housecleaning I'm facing, what cultural difficulties have plagued my day....or the mood I'm in at the moment. It's been nice to catch up with old friends, but facebook has become a self-promoting forum of gossip and criticism in many ways. The lines have been crossed, and my spirit has been burdened because of it. I in NO way suggest that anyone else should abandon facebook...this is a personal decision. I hope that my true friends will stay in touch with me...and I pray that the body of Christ will continue to come together and encourage one another.

Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil.

Hello...Anybody Home?!?

Well, I stumbled across this seriously neglected blog today and realized something...it's mine! I knew this would happen, it's my modus operandi! It's a strong symptom of my self-proclaimed "frustrated perfectionism"! All or nothing is generally my motto in everything...relationships, diet/exercise, work...and now blogging! It seems that I require myself to have wonderful things to say and to be able to give great, lengthy oracles in order to blog. Oh well, this little blog will change none of that, I'm sure...but I figured after 7 months of neglect, I could at least drop in and let you all know I'm still alive!